Pain

(Note: If you have the time to watch this clip, it will improve the coherence of one of my examples).




Pain may be divided into two types: physical and emotional. Furthermore, it may be used in expressions. According to the OED, the word "pain" was first recorded around the 1300s. Its initial definition, as stated in the OED, is "punishment; penalty; suffering or loss inflicted for a crime or offence; (sometimes) spec. a fine, a tax" and "[on/under/upon pain of ---]: with specified punishment, reaction, etc., as the penalty for not fulfilling the command or condition stated." For example, "on pain of death" - an idiom that is rarely used today (the OED shows in its date chart a leap of the usage of the word from 1959 to 2002) - would mean "liable to the penalty of death." In other words, the subject in question may be given the death penalty. In the modern era, however, expressions involving the word "pain" are mostly equivalent to something being a burden, such as: "Driving back and forth is a pain in the neck." Of course, there is no real "pain in the neck"; it is simply an expression. Unlike the 50 year gap of the first expression, the most recent dates recorded for this one are 1994 and 2000. "I feel your pain" is also another popular expression: although it may not be literal pain, the speaker is acknowledging the situation the listener is going through. The latter two expressions are less formal and more slang, reflecting the current generation's vernacular.

Physical pain is described as "physical or bodily suffering; a continuous, strongly unpleasant or agonizing sensation in the body (usually in a particular part), such as arises from illness, injury, harmful physical contact, etc." and "a single unpleasant or agonizing physical sensation" (OED). The best example is injury in sports. Professional athletes in rigorous sports need to be in outstanding shape to endure the pain their body takes day after day. A lack of rest takes a toll on athletes' bodies, rendering them more vulnerable to serious injuries. In addition, rushing rehabilitation or playing through injuries also hinders recovery time and performance. For example, Miami Heat star Dwayne Wade played through most of last season with a surgically repaired knee, which was not fully healed when he started the season. His premature return to the court led to continuous knee pains and prompted his eventual decision late in the season to shut down to guarantee a full recovery. The same goes for illness: if people who are sick do not take time to rest, their sickness may linger and last longer.

Finally, the OED's best definition for emotional pain is "mental distress or suffering; anguish, grief; an instance of this." Unlike physical pain, emotional pain affects the heart and mind. When emotionally stricken, the pain is not visibly apparent. Sometimes, the heart feels like it is being squeezed or crushed by an immortal hand; at other times, it turns as cold, hard and heavy as a large slab of marble. Amazingly, the feeling is so real that one could actually feel the weight and drag in his or her chest. The mind also undergoes demoralizing processes: it feels as if the world has turned upside down and a clear sunny day would instantly turn into an eternal solemn night. Furthermore, thoughts spin endlessly like they are whirling inside a tornado. Interestingly, humans are also able to feel the emotional pains of others. On the following episode in Smallville after the death of Jonathan Kent, Clark walks into his house and sees his mom watching an old videotape of his dad and him. Even though no words are spoken in a scene, excluding the video, one can feel Clark and Martha's pain, especially if he or she personally has suffered the loss of a loved one. The emotions that follow after watching a live memory of the one who had passed away strains the heart and may even induce tears. Moreover, the symbolism of Jonathan's waving goodbye on the TV further appeals to the emotional pain of viewers. Likewise, the emotional pain felt by Americans after 9/11 were broadcast over TV; even though the bystanders would not directly hurt, they still suffered from watching the horrendous sight of the crumbling Twin Towers. Emotional pain, in this context, negatively shapes Americans' attitudes towards certain races, even if they were no involved in the attack.

It is arguable that the presented examples of physical and emotional pain have existed throughout history. Thus, how does the current generation relate and redefine pain? In class, Truman brought up how war-themed video games appeal to gamers, even though war is truly gruesome and frightening in reality. In addition, Colleen commented on how her friend and her feelings had changed for him before, during and after his return, specifically mentioning how she was constantly worried about his well-being when he was gone and how things were different when he returned. Parika also pitched in on how she liked to "hurt" her friends when they mess around but knews the boundaries of what is and is not acceptable. Regarding war, there is a fine line between fantasy and reality: the fantasy - such as games - creates temporary emotional pain relating to fictional figures that eventually disappears, which is acceptable, whereas the reality - such as war - may truly physically and emotional harm the persons in question, which is intolerable and may remain forever. Also, paintballing and airsoft were brought up in class. They too exhibit boundaries between what is and is not acceptable. Truman said that when he goes paintballing with his friends, his goal (sometimes) is to target a specific friend and bruise him up. If the friend suffers a fatal injury, emotional pain is accompanied by physical pain and the boundary is crossed. Note that physical and emotional pain intersect each other in these situations.

When comparing these two different pains, however, which is worse? A search for "physical or emotional pain" in Yahoo! Answers resulted in mixed opinions. Some believe that physical pain - such as having amputated limbs - cannot be worse while others argue that emotional pain may last a lifetime and cause permanent detrimental effects to the mind. Nonetheless, pain is as inevitable as death; yet, it is a friendly reminder that we are all human.

Post 14: Resolution

As I was leaving Storer after Jenny helped me turn in my teacher evaluation form and held the door for me, and Danielle collected the rest of the forms, I was already reflecting about the class. Although I did not have to walk as far as I did on the first day of class, there has been a significant change of tolerance in my arms and legs; they have adapted quite well to my crutches. Walking with crutches has become second nature: during the first couple weeks of class, I easily ran out of breath and energy from walking a couple hundred feet; however, accomplishing that same feat now tests only my patience and nothing more.

Similarly, my approach to this class has also changed from being too picky in my writing to elaborating myself naturally. After re-reading my first couple posts, I noticed that I tried too hard to "beautify" my writing. Over the next 11 posts, I believe that it is not the quality that has changed but the feeling and personality. Ironically, while I initially thought my last half of posts were less adequate than the first a couple weeks ago, I now realize that in the latter posts they are "Bernie," not the "Bernie who is trying to write a perfect essay," talking.

Regarding the style of this class, I personally love it. At first, I thought it was only our UWP class that tested writing narratives and analyzed modern technologies, but apparently my friends taking other UWP 101 classes also wrote about similar topics. However, the idea of "blogging" takes our English class to a whole different level. Despite fulfilling the 6000 word requirement, "blogging" takes away the pressures of having to b.s. 1500 words the night before an essay is due. Furthermore, for those who do not speak much in class, it allows them - including myself - to express themselves in a more comfortable environment at home. In fact, I am actually well-acquainted to "blogging," only that I use an old school blog - Xanga - as my personal online journal. Hence, I feel that I have a comfortable, yet somewhat emotional and private tie with "blogging" and this class.

I am pretty sure that Chris mentioned this sometime during the past five weeks, but "blogging" may become a revolution in not only English classes, but also writing in general. When I showed a friend my "Immobile" post, he claimed that my idea of linking to a picture to the teeth wind-up toy copied that of BDL (a Yahoo! Sports NBA blog). In addition, I was reading an article from a legitimate website (sorry, I can't remember the site and can't find the link) that linked to Wikipedia - a resource that some teachers disapprove of. Blogs have emerged in popular web sites and linking have spawned within the blogs; perhaps someday this style of writing will become an established norm - starting from our class.

Post 13: Immobile

Humans take mobility for granted.




Like Arlen in his "Hour As A Spy," I am sitting in a computer lab, only that it is in the Science Laboratory Building rather than the Hart Media Distribution Room. Unlike his purpose of observing people, I am in here because my "[formerly] endeared friend and [currently] dreaded enemy" is temporarily drained - literally. Part of the plastic insulation of my Fujitsu charger melted over the past weekend and I attempted to wrap the exposed wiring with insulating tape. At first, I thought I had succeeded in repairing my charger, but in a couple of days the tape had also begun to melt and my charger stopped working altogether.

In contrast to the Hart computer lab, there are only sit-down computers in here. The computers are arranged in neat rows, 12 Dell computers in each. I cannot describe the inflow and outflow of traffic because there are only four people in here, including the guy in the blue jacket and myself, and I believe that there have been less than 10 people arriving and leaving since I first got here. Furthermore, as opposed to Arlen's comment about how "most [people] take their cell phone calls outside the computer lab, maintaining the silence of the computer lab," I selfishly and guiltily spoke on the phone for 20 minutes in my seat. Other than that, I am accompanied only by the typing noise a teeth wind-up toy would make in an otherwise realm of utter silence on this quiet Friday.

As for my laptop, it not only served as a medium for watching movies and YouTube and playing games, but also suffices as "[a] workstation on which I process and store nearly all the school related documents. Therefore the laptop’s mobility creates an opportunity to blur the line between study time and personal time" (Huang). To be honest, this line is distinctively clear to me right now: I could care less if my laptop had no programs other than the Internet and Firefox so that I could write my Blog in the apartment instead of asking my roommate to drive me to school and pick me up on a day that neither of us have class. Rick also questions what it would like to "have a UC Davis No-Laptop Day." I have an inkling that there would be a little more people in this computer lab, more people walking and biking around downtown Davis, and more people improving their personal health.

Having no laptop for a few days has made me question myself about peoples' reliance on mobile computers. Although this situation has made me reach out of my apartment in search for another resource, I feel like I have a clear vision of the purpose of laptops. I view my powerless laptop not as a lifeline but as a supplement to my boredom and, occasionally, my work. It has not hindered my personal health and well-being because I am still able to maintain my weight and stay in steady shape. But I have been lying on my couch watching TV and playing my PS2 for the past few days bored out of my mind - THAT might have an effect on my body.

I am not trying to bitch and whine about myself; the point I am trying to make is that humans take mobility for granted. There are people who have fatalities, from amputated limbs to permanent, life-threatening disabilities, while others simply cannot afford other types of mobility. We should take a little bit of time appreciating with what we have in life instead of worrying about the material things that we want and do not have. I should be appreciative that I still have a computer to use somewhere, good friends who will drive me around, a place to live and watch TV in, a good laptop, and a normal life. The best part is that I will have a buffed-up leg when I heal.




Still, immobility sucks!

Post 12: Impression

What is your first impression of this picture? I ask this because when I first looked at it, I did not know myself. To give a brief description, this picture is dated June 23, 2006, when I was 17 years old. I am standing on the middle log of the front gate at my mom's house in a village in Zhongshan, China. I am wearing the same style of clothing - white T-shirt and shorts - that I wear now and my old T-Macs. Also, my right calf is not deflated and squishy like the way it is now (and no, I don't shave). And that's it - or is it?

An image may capture the physical qualities of something, but it also offers difficulty in discerning the age, ambiance, and emotions that take place in that moment of time. You can obviously analyze the contrast of colors between the brown gates and logs and the white-walled dwellings on the outside. Furthermore, the brick wall is not the casual red that the color bricks are normally associated with; in fact, it blends in with the dull and mellow tone of the rest of the outside in this image. However, what can we tell about the age, atmosphere, and feelings of this picture?

Besides me, everything else has a hint of weariness and gloominess. The wall, buildings, and ground have been worn out, perhaps from years of obediently serving and housing people. Even the wooden logs that I am holding and standing on have cracks throughout them because of age. Similarly, the weather dampens the picture. The weather in China reflects the weather in California, except on a more extreme scale. When it is summer, the temperature stretches over 40 degrees Celsius, which is equivalently over 104 degrees Fahrenheit. Toss in humidity, and you will feel like you are constantly bathed in a warm and sticky bath. Fortunately, I do not seem to be suffering from the heat; in addition, my shirt is not drenched. I guess I was lucky: I must have rested in the house for a while. Plus, having a fan (not shown in picture) helps cooling down, too. Speaking of me, I appear to have a happy smile on my face. Of course, I could also be happily grimacing for the picture, anticipating for the moment my hands or feet slip (but I can tell you that that is not the case). My attitude happily mismatches the monotonous attitude of the environment around me.

*Extensively, as Chris mentions, "this image seems to be all about gates, boundaries, and portals." I must also add that there is a slight theme of imprisonment. From that perspective, it does seem like there are uncountable numbers of "entryways and exits beyond [the buildings on the outside]." However, am I better off entrapped behind the gates?

If I escape, how many more obstacles do I have to go through? Would I rather be engulfed in darkness and loneliness? Is the outside world too much of a mystery for me making me turn back "into" the camera? On the one hand, this gate protects me from the unknown; on the other hand, I will be stuck with what I have within the gate, but I will be safe. This new picture infuses a new perspective into my first image that emits curiosity and longing for something on the outside. There is a brighter world out there, and it might be worth the risk to extend myself through the tall gate to discover different portals and boundaries. I know I am cheating again with this picture, but it is too hard to resist posting it with the discussion of boundaries.*

Okay, so I cheated a little bit while analyzing the picture, but one may also make the same observations by putting a little thought into it. An image may tell only so many things; adding a bit of brainpower may make it a little more real. So, what is my impression of this picture? It is the same as before, only that I feel a little sweatier with a grin on my face.

Post 11: Retrospect

In an era where pagers are remnants of the past, I believe that Danielle's reaction to her broken cell is an insightful and accurate description of what would happen to many cell phones users who lose their precious "connection to the 'outside' world." We have gone from needing to look for a phone to make a phone call to putting our social lives into a phone that is about the size of one's palm - or smaller.

When I was in elementary school, my dad told my sister and I that if we ever needed to contact him when he was not in his cubicle at work, we could call his pager. His pager was about the size of a SLVR, except only thicker and a little smaller. The pager would usually be clipped onto the waistline of his pants. If I remember correctly, the only functions that his pager had were vibrating, ringing, and flashing. Unlike cell phones today, the pager ran on AA batteries, not lithium batteries. When the pager broke after about a year of running, it certainly did not cause a sense of urgency. Perhaps the most simple way I could describe my dad's reaction is, "Oh well."

Shortly after, my dad subscribed to a "cellular" phone plan and acquired this Nokia handphone (except it was black). The only purpose of the phone to me was playing snake and beating my previous high score. It was in high school when I finally owned my first cell phone. I thought it was cool because it was the first sliding phone I had ever seen; furthermore, when it was closed, it would fit in the center of the palm of my hand. But even then, my social life did not revolve around my cell phone; I was more concerned about the physical condition of my egg phone instead of the possibility of losing everyone's phone numbers.

Nowadays, we have Blackberries and iPhones that connect to the internet, store music, and even play videos. Currently, I own a SLVR that can only text message, store phone numbers, and use bluetooth. However, if it were to break like Danielle's phone, my body would probably undergo the same increase in heart rate, neuron firing, and cortisol release, despite the technological drawbacks my phone may have compared to more advanced phones. Why? Cell phones are now the new medium for communication. I do not know anyone who still use phone books and none of my friends have home phones in their apartments. To some people, a broken cell phone is like losing a best friend. How has the world gone from utilizing technology has a supplement to treating it like it is a vital detached organ?

Danielle also mentions that "the fact that the breaking of a cell phone disrupts not only one's contact with everyone they know but also disrupts their body's [homeostasis; it] shows that we have become dependent on technology." Indeed, our lives have become so reliant on technology that if Y2K were to occur, we...well, we would not know what to do anymore. We have gone from utilizing technology as a supplement to our lives to infusing a part of our souls into a little piece of machinery. Yet, it is interesting to try to live without solely relying on technology.

Two summers ago, there was a major blackout in my neighborhood - we were without electricity for three days. Without my PS2, TV, laptop, refrigerated food and drink, and even ice (local 7-11's and supermarkets were sold out of ice), there was little left to do. Thus, I drove to my local community center to work out, play basketball in the gym, and write daily journals on my laptop (there was no public internet access). At night, my parents would light candles and my family would spend hours playing card games. When the power finally came back on, I realized that living with no electricity opened my eyes a little on what else was out there in the world. Additionally, I actually survived with no Internet, which was my main form of communication at that time.

Technological dependence, like Danielle states, is truly depressing. If we all try to treat technology more as a supplement rather than a lifeline, we would be able to appreciate the things around us a little more. We do not have to be glued to our cell phones every day or wired to the Internet to survive. We should revert back to more traditional forms once in a while, such as writing letters and using phone books (so that we would actually start knowing numbers again). Who knows - maybe life would be more fruitful and consist of better relationships by diverting away from technology and revitalizing the most simple forms of communication.

Post 10: Unstoppable

Before I elaborate on this commercial, I just want to throw out a disclaimer that I will not be analyzing "Impossible Is Nothing" because that slogan is better suited for a five page essay.

Mobility is an aspect in life that we value dearly every day (assuming we do not become hypnotized blobs like those in WALL-E). At least for basketball players, this commercial advertises a shoe that hints at invulnerability in terms of mobility: those who possess the shoes cannot be stopped. There are four elements that function to display mobility in this commercial: color, size and quantity, and speed.

There is a stark contrast between the colors of Tracy McGrady's clothing and the helicopters, humvees, and the soldiers' clothing. The polar opposites of white and black suggest defense and offense. The "white" team is quick on covering ground and air; however, McGrady's mobility is even more impressive since he can still move while being binded by ropes. One may notice that McGrady's shoes are also white; the contrast between McGrady's dark clothing and white shoes serves to emphasize the "power" of the shoes.

Size and quantity also contribute to the theme of mobility of this commercial. Although helicopters and humvees are realistically larger than a person, the wearer of these shoes make him or her larger than life. In addition, the number of vehicles and soldiers are irrelevant. Despite the amount of rope that the soldiers shoot and throw out of their vehicles (which may represent defense) McGrady manages to continue moving - with the shoes of course.

Finally, the speed of McGrady's movements is in slow motion as opposed to the "real time" around him. Similarly, the commercial contrasts two things - slow and fast speeds - to make a statement on mobility. McGrady is like a rolling cannonball: he might be moving slowly, but since his mass is so big his momentum would carry him and he would run through or crush anything.

Combining these four elements result in this commercial not only selling shoes but also displaying a person's unstoppable mobility by wearing these shoes. Unlike the mobility of technology allowing people to multi-task using one device, the commercial suggests that the mobility of these shoes allow people to break out of being uniform or one; in other words, they allow one to break constraints and do things that normal shoes would not allow them to do (specifically break down opponents and be able to jump). Ultimately, the commercial says this: Wear the shoes, move freely, and become unstoppable.

Post 9: Perspective

I started taking abacus lessons when I was in the first grade 13 years ago and quit when I was a sophomore in high school. During these nine years, I had accumulated unforgettable memories and friendships; those years remain fondly close to my heart because they helped shape the person I am today. When I quit, I took a year off to focus on schoolwork before returning and becoming a teacher's assistant for abacus classes for beginners once a week for an entire year.

One of the classes had about 25 students, all of whom were five to seven years old. Managing a class of that size combined with immaturity can be chaotic at times but is to be expected. While the teacher, Ms. Huang, was introducing herself, I patiently waited for my turn to speak and managed to take a glimpse at each student; I was trying to deduce whether he or she was a loud or quiet type. However, as Ms. Huang's words faded I realized I was inevitably caught in a web of memories and began reminiscing about my younger "abacus" self.

Back in first grade, I was the quiet and shy type - in some ways, I still am. I remember experiencing the same things that my students were experiencing: fidgeting in my seat, waiting for class to end, wondering if my mom was still outside waiting for me, and doing anything but listening to the same teacher, Ms. Huang. As I grew up, I discovered the art of cheating and occasionally copied answers from the back of my workbooks until I was caught by my mom. Even though I told my mom not to tell anyone, she ended up informing Ms. Huang and I was given a short lecture about how cheating will not help me improve. I also remember neglecting practice and wanting to quit as I reached high school; when I finally did quit, I regretted it and wish that I had continued competing against my friends until I knew that I had done my best.

As Ms. Huang's introduction began solidifying back into audible words, I saw myself in some of these students. During my time as the TA, there would be kids who cried because their parents were not in the room with them, cheated by copying off the wrong answer key, and frustrated because they could not understand a concept or figure out a problem. I helped these students by utilizing my experiences to make them feel more comfortable and confident. Furthermore, I encouraged them to practice as much as they could so that they could be faster in calculating than everyone else.

If there was one thing that I could say about being Ms. Huang's TA, it would be the profound connections over a realm of differences. Although my students were mentally and physically different, they were also me. We all had different branches, but we also all came from the same tree.